From Pixar’s acclaimed SparkShorts program comes Self, a stop-motion animated short written and directed by Searit Huluf.
The stop-motion animated short features a wooden puppet who wants nothing more than to fit in within the world around her. After a wish upon a star helps her with her dream of blending in, she soon learns that the price she pays for merging with everyone else might be much more than she bargained for.
I had the wonderful opportunity to speak with Huluf about what inspired the ideas behind Self, the use of stop-motion animation and how her past work on films such as Incredibles 2 and Turning Red helped her grow her craft in both the film and animation fields.
A graduate from UCLA’s Theater, Film and Television school, concentrating on screenwriting and animation, Huluf’s work includes directing numerous short narrative and documentary films, such as buna, GAMERS, Exploring Blackness, and 19th Amendment Doc.
Check out the full interview about Searit Huluf below:
My first question for you is what was the inspiration that you had in your journey to creating Self? What was that “aha!” moment for you in terms of creating the short?
Searit Huluf: Yeah, you know, the biggest inspiration was, usually when I make stories, I like to follow like a feeling or emotion. And during that time of writing it, I was thinking a lot about how I self sabotage myself. And that’s why I love the word self. Because I think you could interchange this. So this could be about self love. This could be about self identity or self discovery. But personally, for me, it was self sabotage. There’s like, so many of these moments where I would set myself up for failure. When I really want something – really, really want something – is when I usually self sabotage myself the most.
In this story, in particular, we just watched someone who really, truly wants to belong and be like everyone else. But she does it in the worst way possible, which is like losing yourself in the process of doing that. And, you know, by the time she realizes it, which is the same as me whenever I realise I’ve gone too far, it’s kind of too late. And I also have to suffer the consequences of my mistakes. And this is kind of the feelings and emotions I really wanted to follow.
One thing I really loved was the animation! So when you were thinking of creating Self, was stop-motion your first choice, or was it something along the way that you thought would fit really well?
Huluf: 100% stop-motion. I went to UCLA and studied stop-motion, so I wanted to go back to that medium so badly. But I knew I just couldn’t use a stop-motion medium just to use it. And since the story was about the long game, it was kind of this layer of like, ‘Oh, wow, not only does she not look like them, she can’t talk like that, she doesn’t sound like that.’ But she’s also animated differently, to again, show multiple layers of how this person is really kind of just like an isolated figure in this new city where everyone just looks the same.
And I know that you’ve done work as a production coordinator on Incredibles 2 and Turning Red. So I was just wondering how did those experiences help in terms of picking stop-motion and crafting the story?
Huluf: Yeah, I think for Incredibles 2, there was something that really felt like the gang is back, kind of. I watched that film when I was, I think 10 or 11 years old. So, the fact that I was on this film, my first industry job, was kind of just like I hit the lottery. Like, I can’t believe I’m working on the sequel to this film that everyone literally in the whole world has been dying to watch. And also, Brad Bird is a filmmaker that I strive to be because I also do live-action films as well, and he has done both mediums. And that’s something where I was just like, ‘Oh, wow, I get to work with a director that does both so well.’
And particularly, it was working with the art team, and it was nice to just learn about the art and how to transfer that art into CG. And, surprisingly too, how a lot of these artists look at live-action films and also just go to places in person, and watch stop-motion films. That’s something about Turning Red because Turning Red looked at stop-motion too. Because there was, you know, the chunkiness of stop-motion puppets that really attracted Domee, and we watched a lot of those films. I think one of the reference films we had was Fantastic Mr. Fox. Yeah. So yeah, I think that watching both Domee Shi and Brad Bird craft their story, especially in the early stages of production – I was there from art and story for both films – really kind of mentally prepared me to make Self.
You were saying earlier that obviously the word self could be thought about or interpreted in many ways. Was this something that you were hoping that the audience would also enjoy from it; just being able to like apply it to themselves in some way?
Huluf: It was actually surprising because I think when we were looking, there was something in me that was like, ‘Oh, I think I want to call this film Self.’ But then, I think we’re also just like asking around from people what they think the title should be, and that that’s where when I’d say Self, they were like, ‘Well, what about self identity or self discovery?’ And I was just like, ‘Oh, yeah, I guess that’s similar to what the story is about too.’
And I’ve talked to other directors about this, too and it’s just like, once you make your film, it’s kind of not yours anymore. It’s the audience’s film; it’s what they take from it. And for me, I don’t have this need or feeling that every little thing in the film itself and the way I made it, it doesn’t have to prescribe specifically to how they feel because everyone has their own experiences. And I think, the story about belonging is so universal. I think that people will take this film and be like, ‘Oh, yeah, I know, this made me feel like this when I was in college, or when I’m at work, or when I’m with my family.’ And the thing about Self, there’s not like big story moments of her not belonging, it’s in the micro. These are like very micro aggression moments where a lot of people don’t even realize it’s happening when it’s happening.
And the way I talked about it with my crew too was just you don’t think of marginalised groups of people I think of like cooks, janitorial staff, immigrants – they’re often seen and not heard. And usually these kind of micro aggressions happen with that group of people. So for me, it’s it’s like, yeah, it’s about oneself. And that’s something unique about this film, because when you watch other SparkShorts at Pixar, usually they’re a relationship film and be with your brother, with a partner or a mom and daughter. But this one was really about one’s relationship with themselves and how they see themselves in the world. And that’s something I really wanted the audience to kind of take from this.
My last question for you is, obviously you wrote this, you directed it, and you also did vocals for Self. How was it balancing all of those things?
Huluf: Oh, my God, it was so much fun! I mean, the writing was definitely torturous. There were definitely nights where I couldn’t sleep and I had to Google how do you know when you’re having a heart attack? [laughs] And I was like, ‘Oh, I think I’m just very, very anxious right now.’ But I think it was great too because I think it thickened my skin. And as someone who wants to have a filmmaking career, because of this experience, I feel like I’ve grown from it and I feel less phased. I worked on a short film right after Self and we ended up having to shut down production someone got their foot injured and all the bad things that you expect on a live-action set. All the things happened and my producer’s bawling her eyes and she’s like, ‘Why are you not crying? Like how are you so calm?’ And I’m like, ‘Surprisingly, I’ve seen worse.’ So, I think Self trained me because there’s so many things that happen through production.
So when I think a lot about the writing I do think a lot about like have grown as an artist and how I’ve become kind of like a bit more secure and like and again, I failed a lot and that was the best part about the sparks was programme or like it is kind of like a space to fail and learn from those mistakes. And I think because of like me writing this film and also directing it and also doing the books, I think I learned I like failed a lot at the same time learned a lot and I become better storyteller.
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